An Open Letter To C.L. Sheshadri

November 3, 2010 at 9:15 PMNov (Friends, Letter, Media, Slice Of Life)

Respected C.L. Sheshadri,

I don’t know who you are, whether tall or short, fat or thin, dark or fare. I don’t even know which part of the world you live in. To be very frank i also don’t know if you are alive or not. All i know is that you have been an inseparable part of my life from November 2006 and have made my life miserable. You alone are not responsible for making my life miserable but along with you equally responsible are: Spice/ Idea network and ABN-AMRO bank.

If you are alive and can read and are reading this, Mr. Sheshadri, I am sure you know what the matter is. Ever since i bought Spice/ Idea SIM for my mobile (November 2006), I have been receiving calls from ABN-AMRO people asking for you. In fact soon after i activated the SIM and even before I could tell my number to my world i received a call from ABN-AMRO asking for you. I had replied saying i am not you. When i told about this to my friend who had accompanied me to buy the SIM, he told me that it could have been possible that the number was earlier used by you and when you divorced the SIM it was reintroduced in the market by Spice/ Idea and i had chanced upon the same number. The reason for you divorcing the number was ABN-AMRO, it appears, and unfortunately it had to be i who chanced upon your number when it was reintroduced.

Since November 2006 almost on a daily basis and sometimes more than once in a single day, I have been receiving calls asking for you Mr. Sheshadri. Initially it was fun for my friends and me. We would speak to the ABN-AMRO people explaining in different tongues that I am not you. Sometimes the bank people would call from Delhi number sometimes from Chennai number sometimes from Mumbai number and sometimes from Bangalore number. Sometimes male voice and sometimes female voice ask for you and every time when explained that I am not you, the answer from the other side would be “We are sorry Sir.” What do I do with their sorry when the act keeps repeating itself every now and then? Soon I started losing my temper when the bank people would call me asking for you, I lose my temper and shouted at the bank people and my friends would start laughing looking at my life which was made miserable by you Spice/ Idea and ABN-AMRO.

The ABN-AMRO people who would call me would get annoyed, sometime, when I shouted at them because everytime it was a new person who would call and when I would say, “I have told you several times that I am not Sheshadri, why do you trouble me?” they would say, “I am calling you for the first time,” and sometimes would also instruct me to speak “softly” and not “harshly.” Now that would annoy me even the more because may be the individual who called me was calling me for the first time but the person they are calling is not receiving the call from the same organization for the first time and its not the first time he is explaining that he is not you!!!

Some of the operators who have called me asking for you had promised me that their organization will not call me again, after I explained to them that I am not you and that their organization has been troubling me from several years now. But the promises remain promises and never get fulfilled. I keep getting calls repeatedly.

Once it so happened that I was in a bad mood while we were not getting sponsorship for our Kala-Manch play and a person from ABN-AMRO called me asking for you. I shouted at him saying I am not you, in a bad mood triggered by the no-money situation of Kala-Manch. But soon realising the opportunity I calmed down and asked the operator if ABN-AMRO could sponsor our play. He said that he had to consult the higher officials. I thought, even if they don’t sponsor, if I ask for a sponsorship they would stop troubling me asking for you, after that. But no, they continued to trouble me asking for you, even after I asked for sponsorship!

It is not funny Mr. Sheshadri. Because I have been troubled by these ABN-AMRO people when I would be talking to my friends or my colleagues, when I was in a protest meeting, a dharna and also when I used to be reporting different programmes as a reporter! They have also troubled me when I have been on roaming thus ensuring that I pay for some loan that you have taken from them! At times I have felt that I should repay the loan you have taken from them so as to liberate myself from the bank people and from you. But I guess your loan is a huge sum which is way too much for me to repay. So I continue to shout, sometimes madly, at the ABN-AMRO people when they call me asking for you from whom them want a repayment of loan.

When I shifted to Delhi and changed my number I thought I was finally liberated from ABN-AMRO and that you would not follow me anymore. But when I came back home after a few months, for vacation, and started using my old Spice/ Idea number the bank people started troubling me again. This also meant that in those months when my number was ‘unavailable’ the bank people were continuously trying to contact you through me! That reflects how badly they need the money from you, it appears to me! During my vacation again you become a part of life and I keep repeating the same answer to ABN-AMRO people that I am not you.

Yes, I am not you Mr. Sheshadri, but I want to meet you once because you have been such an active member of my life in the past four years! At times I think that if I ever meet any Sheshadri in life I will just slap that person once and ask if he is the one who took loan from ABN-AMRO bank. But that doesn’t mean that I am angry and hence want to meet you. I am also curious to know as to who the man is who has eloped in such an untraceable manner that the ABN-AMRO people have been still trying to find him just through his phone number! You seem to have not left behind any identity proof with them other than the phone number and hence they are trying to search you through that from the past four years. What a fine fraud!!! I say this with real admiration Mr. Sheshadri and not sarcastically, trust me.

With the same admiration I ask you if we could meet someday somewhere. It would be a kind gesture to meet me and a respectable gesture to repay the loan and liberate me from the repeated phone calls I get asking for you. I am tiered Mr. Sheshadri, I am tiered. When we meet I will pay for the tea/coffee/ lunch/ dinner. But you please repay the loan and save me. Please…

Yours Sincerely,
B.A. Samvartha (Not C.L. Sheshadri)

24 February 2010

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