Love Is Too Serious To Be Romantic

November 3, 2010 at 9:15 AMNov (Activism, Cinema, Friends, Literature, Media, Musings, Poetry, Slice Of Life)

With not even 24 hrs to go for Valentines Day, i was sitting with a friend, who was on her way back to her boyfriend with whom she has been having problems from sometime now. I asked her as to what she intended to do when she met him again and she said “i just want him back” and told me of an incident where she told the boy “hit me if you wish, but please do not ignore me, be close to me” I was silenced by that dialogue.

I narrated a poem, where Lakshmana tells Urmila “i shall be your dasa (servant)” to which Urmila replies saying “Please dont. If you become my daasa then i will have to become your daasi, which i dont want to. So be my king and treat me like a queen” My friend smiled.

Continuing her story my friend said her boy-friend was not contacting her off late and was neglecting her and ignoring her. To console her i narrated her a story from the life of Meena Kumari alias Mehazabeen alias Naaz.

Meena Kumari was a sensitive poet. Gulzar was her close friend. So close that her diary to this day is with Gulzar, they say. Meena would share her poems with Gulzar and Gulzar would modify and improvise them, occassionally. Meena had a habit of collecting pebbles. She not just used to collect them but also name them and assign characterisitics to them. If Mr. pebble A was a soft spoken man, Mr. pebble B was a rude man. She also would introduce these ‘people’ to everyone and everyone thought she was mad. But Gulzar could see all those human beings in all those pebbles. It was a beautiful relationship. They both connected at a level where no one else could connect to them.

With this story i told my friend that love was more of connecting and not contacting. With tears swollen in her eyes, my friend nodded her head slowly as though wanting to agree but not able to agree with what i was saying.

Thats how all of are (including me), i believe, when we are in love. We tend to lose gravitation. We dont want to accept reality. We tend to believe that love and lover is everything. Nothing else exists. We forget that life is more important and larger than love itself.

Krishna Bandopadhya had written a beautiful artice nearly a year ago in Economic And Political Weekly. The title was Naxalbari Politics: A Feminist Narrative In that piece of article she narrates her love life with Dhron, a Naxal leader.

Dhron and Krishna were in love with each other. They used to work together, moving from one village to another with a few other cadres. Once in a village, both of them had to share a room, in a house with the couple to whom the house belonged to. Krishna says one night she was sitting in one corner of the room and reading and so was Dhron, sitting in another corner. Somehere at the stroke of midnight she closed the book and was all set to sleep, when she saw the couple in the room making love to each other. This made the blood run in full flow in her veins. She says that she wished, at that moment, that even Dhron would make love to her. And as if her desire was heard by Dhron, he comes close to her. He sits next to her and moving his face close to her, he whispers in her ears “Come lets read about Chineese Peasant Movement.” Krishna says she felt like quitting the movement at that point of time for she felt that it was because of the movement that Dhron did not give her what she wanted at that point of time.

But the next morning, Dhron requests Krishna to wash his shirt for it had become dirty. Krishna asks “whats the need? however it is going to become dirty again, within an hour’s time”  and Dhron says “yes but still, wash the cloth and let me wear your fragrance”

Dint Dhron love Krishna? He did. But why did he dissapoint her the previous night? I dont know, but it appears to me that the story says that love shouldn’t lose gravitation. Life, which is interwoven with the  lives surrounding us, is also important. Love needs to have gravitation of reality too.

After narrating this story to my friend, i took leave from her saying what one of my dearest friends Divya had told me once: LOVE IS TOO SERIOUS TO BE ROMANTIC.

13 February 2009


  1. chetana Teerthahalli said,

    Excellent write up Sahil. Thanks much for many reasons.
    – Chetana

  2. Scribblenibbles said,

    really a thought provoking and intense write up 🙂 made me smile….

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