Why Durga Cries?

January 4, 2012 at 9:15 PMJan (Cinema, Friends, Musings, Slice Of Life, Soliloquy)

A friend once while chatting had said, “I hate attending weddings.” It was not the first time she was saying that. We had discussed the idea of marriage several times as to how marriage is most often seen as an event and how it is an over celebrated event. Our argument was always that if two people wanted to spend their lives together why cant they just live together with commitment and without an event to announce their coming together? We did understand the need for companionship but we did not understand the need for an event.

She, that day, asked a question for which I did not have an answer nor do I have an answer. She asked, more to herself and also to me, “Why do the friends who get married move away emotionally from all their friends?” When she asked me even I asked myself and gave myself answers like, “May be running a family consumes a lot of time and energy because life and lifestyle all change once one gets married.” She also asked, “Why does marriage bring a distance between friends?” It appears to me that though she is happy for her friends who are getting married she hated attending weddings because it puzzled and pained her because every marriage- of friends- leaves her with a friend less and a bit more of sense of aloneness and loneliness along with a certain alienation.

Another friend, childhood friend, who now works for the defense was saying few weeks ago, “When there is a party, our seniors are with their family and so are many of the people from our age group. The juniors and slightly younger ones are among themselves and they don’t entertain us because to them we are ‘Uncle’ and slightly out of ‘times’. In such times I feel not just alienated but more and more lonely.”

Recently when a dear friend’s marriage got almost fixed I remembered the two friends, their words and felt that a friend was moving away, like quite a few in the recent past. I felt this painful because this friend whose wedding is almost fixed, as explained by that very friend, we humans love a ‘mirror image’ of the self and wouldn’t want to lose that.

As I sat looking out of the window late that night I suddenly understood why Durga in the film Pather Panchali cries. Durga, in the film, cries when her close friend in the neighboring is getting married. When I watched the film the first time and every time I watched it I failed to understand why Durga cries, in the film, during the wedding. But suddenly I had the answer to, ‘Why Durga cries?’

The loss of companionship, friendship and a fear of not being belonged, I guess, makes Durga cry. Durga cries for herself. I guess it is the same reason which made my Defense friend feels lonely in every party. I guess my other friend hates attending wedding because she can see the wedding of a friend scripting the unwanted loss in her life.

My friend, who made me understand Durga’s tears, with the marriage almost fixed said, “If this is sealed I will be completely alone and completely lonely.” I was silenced by those words. Numb and silent. I had never thought of this possibility. Had this possibility crossed Durga’s mind I am sure Durga’s tears will be also for her friend as and when it flows down her cheek for herself.

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