The White Balloon

October 4, 2011 at 9:15 AMOct (Friends, Musings, Slice Of Life, Soliloquy)

The car stopped. Sound of the horn. I come out of the book I was reading, sitting by the road, while waiting for them. The door opened. I went and sat next to him who had come home after three years.

There was a child like enthusiasm and excitement in him as we drove to the restaurant where he wanted to eat prawns. There was the same child like excitement in him as he said he wanted to eat Gudbud ice-cream after the lunch. There was the same child like excitement in him when we told him that we could make it to the beach before heading back to Manipal where he was to deliver a lecture on Rabindra Sangeeth.

Yet at once and at the same time he was also father-like, to me. That warmth in his words, affection in his gestures like patting the back, that kindness when he put his arm around my shoulder… It was this father like love from his side which made feel like a child while with him. I felt like a small child. I was jumping as I walked but did not make it too visible. I was as I was breathing but not so loud that everyone could listen to it.

While in Malpe beach after the delicious lunch and ice-cream my eyes fell on the white balloon that was being sold under a coconut tree. I wanted it. I wanted it as a sign of the child that I felt I was deep within, in his company. I went and bought it. I played with it by the beach and held it tight while we drove back to Manipal.

We went to his room, to collect his lap-top and with it we drove to the auditorium where his lecture would begin in some time. We walked into the auditorium with this white balloon flying and swinging between us, with its string tied to my finger. I was still holding on to it like a child. There were too many people in the lift and to save the balloon from being crushed I raised my hand letting the balloon almost touch the top of the lift. He smiled looking at me. A smile filled with affection.

The lift opened and we were close to the auditorium. Known faces appeared before our eyes. I took my hand back trying to hide the balloon which was not so small that this small body could hide it by holding it behind. I felt embarrassed, know not why, with that balloon. But I was still feeling like a child, small child, for he was still next to me. He saw me trying to hide the balloon and said, “You could have kept it in the hotel room.” Did he also feel embarrassed, like me? I asked myself. He had to go set the laptop and check the systems before his lecture so he went ahead. I stood back trying to hold the balloon behind me and thus hide it. All known faces had a smile on them as their eyes fell on me and the balloon which couldn’t be hid behind me.

Later I hid the white balloon under the chair on which I sat. He went on the stage and delivered his lecture on Rabindra Sangeeth. The balloon did not burst. But still i felt it had burst.