Ram Gopal Verma To Have Medical Partner To All His Films Hereafter

May 21, 2012 at 9:15 AMMay (Cinema, Media, Musings, Slice Of Life, Soliloquy)

Following a series of complaints by innumerable film buffs of India about getting head ache watching the new film Department the director of the film Ram Gopal Verma has decided to have Amrutanjan as the medical partner of all his films hereafter.

Sources said that in a meeting held between the CEO of Amrutanjan and the Factory owner it was decided that with the tickets of all RGV films hereafter a small sachet of Amrutanjan will be given to the viewers so that head ache can be fought. It is also said, by sources, that initially the Factory owner had a meeting with a spectacle company asking them to produce new kind of spectacle which will make the other wise strainful visuals a bit bearable. The company is reported to have said that science has not gone as ahead as RGV and complimented him for being ahead of his times. This failed attempt to introduce new glasses- like 3D glasses- made RGV strike a deal with Amrutanjan.

The CEO of Amrutanjan reportedly said that out of curisoity he went to watch Department after the meeting with RGV, cancelling the plans of going to watch circus in the city with the family. By the end of the film the CEO said, “Watching Department was not just like watching a circus show but also like being a part of it for the kind of camera movements.” Informers say that the CEO has applied for a day’s leave giving ‘head ache’ as the reason for applying leave.

When going gets tougher, tougher gets going. Though RGV has solved the issue of head ache complaints, by having a medical partner, his problems seem not to end. There have been reports of dharnas being held by carpenters and masons in Mumbai saying the film Department insults their profession and their skills and credibility. They produced some fight scenes from the film as a proof to it. A cameraman from the Factory was beaten up in the midst of the dharna when the cameraman allegedly tried pushing a small camera through the mouth of a carpenter to capture the “breaking of heart and ego”. The cameraman is said to have produced the accidental capture, in his camera, of him being beaten up to the Factory owner saying it could be used in the next film’s fight sequence as a Point of View shot of the villain who is being beatn up.

At the same time a famous car company has also sent a mail to RGV saying they were offended by a part in the film where the hero of the film is shown to be pulling off the mirror like “plucking banana from a plant”. “This is negative publicity to our cars. Especially because the hero of the film looks too weak to be doing it so easily,” said the PRO of the car company and added, “We are also offended because every part of the car that we produce is as strong as the underworld about which the film is.” The PRO, speaking on the sidelines, said that the “personal complaint” he had with the film is that the night he watched the film the visuals in his dreams were “framed” and “structured” like the visuals of Department. “However bad the world is, I at least had beautiful dreams. This film was so visually traumatic that it has distorted the beautiful visuals of my dreams too,” he said wiping tears from his eyes. He said that he wanted to take legal actions for the same but did not know how to produce a proof for the same!

Some groups of feminists in Bombay, reportedly, cried slogans in front RGV’s house saying his portrayal of the lady rowdie was not acceptable to them and demanded that RGV apologized in public. Their complaint is that the lady rowdie who is supposedly a strong rowdie capable of killing people in the film ends up killing people outside the film- watching the film- by crying like “one of us” when her gang leader raises objection about having girls in the gang. The khadi-clad feminists also said that the dialogue of the gang leader raising objections needs to be cut from the film as it is chauvenistic. Demand from the feminist groups also said that the fight scene where the lady rowdie bites the hero, as a part of the fight, needs to be censored as it portrays women as a weaker sex who cannot fight and hence bites. A member of one of the feminist groups added to it saying, “it also plays to the sterotype that women indulge in cat fights,” which she thinks is “ridculous” and “rubbish.”

In between all these troubles there is some light in RGV’s life for him to rejoice. Several shoe companies have approached him wanting to have a tie-up with Factory. “There are so many close up shots of shoes in the film. I am sure he can make his actors wear the shoes of our company and also focus a bit on the brand name. These shots will at least benifit us if not the film or the viewers,” said the PRO of a leading shoe company. Following this, it is said, companies making tea cups, watches, underwear have also shown interest in having a tie-up with Factory.

It is not just the director RGV who is facing the trouble after the release of Department but also the star of the film- Amitabh Bachan. One his followers on twitter is now demanding a bunglow from Big B saying, “I warned the legend not to watch this film soon after the first show of the film on the first day. I have saved his life by asking him not to watch the film. So he should be gifting me a bunglow like, in the film, he gifts the hero for saving his life.”

(Disclaimer: This article is an attempted satire. The intention of this is not to bring disrepute to anyone even remotely related to anything related to this post.)