I Rebel Therefore I Am

December 18, 2012 at 9:15 PMDec (Activism, Musings, Slice Of Life, Soliloquy)

When lakhs of people attend the funeral of Bal(s) ‘saheb’ to pay their respects, I wonder where do I belong to for I am not one among the ‘mass’ nor do I want to become one. When lakhs of people celebrate the hanging of Azmal Kasab, I wonder where do I belong to for I am not that ‘patriot’. When lakhs of people applaud the attack on women at a private party to “save Indian culture”, I wonder where do I belong to for I do not subscribe to that ideology. When lakhs of people, like some “fine minds”, cheer for nuclear energy, I wonder where do I belong to for I am not in solidarity with that idea of development. When lakhs of men are in solidarity with the words of Delhi police saying, “She asked for it,” and even smiling in the parliament over the issue, I wonder where do I belong to for I don’t want to share an umbrella with such a ‘man’kind. When many seek capital punishment for the rapists, I wonder where do I belong to for I feel believe eye for an eye is no justice. When lakhs of people defend the ritual of made-snana in the name of “people’s faith”, I wonder where do I belong to for I am not one among the ‘people’.

I fail to make sense of the times I am living in. I fail to understand the meaningless nature of the world I am living in. Its all absurd. All the world is not a stage but an absurd play. The failure to understand and make sense makes me ask myself- Where do I belong to? And cry, helplessly, saying I do not want to be a part of this world where I feel alienated, un-belonged.

Its an age of isolation and alienation where I ask myself, helplessly, if rejecting the world is the only way to protest against the times we are living in and the system in which we are living. But as much as this alienation, from time and space, kills me, the overpowering murderous forces awakens the rebel in me. The fire of the times in which we are living in is, at once and at the same time, burning humanity, turning it into ashes and also hardening the rebel inside me. Heart, being burnt and hardened at the same time, oscillates between pessimism of the intellect and optimism of the will.

In this eternal loneliness I realize that the only way to feel belonged in this alienating world, alienating time is to engage with the world and times to do my bit to save it from being reduced to ashes, by fighting against the times I am living in. Yes, this is not the world I want to be a part of. Rather than rejecting the world let me reject, as I have, this world giving wings to the rebel with dreams in eyes and hope in the heart. To reject is to rebel. To rebel to is dream. To rebel is to stay alive. To rebel is to make sure death doesn’t remain alive when life is dead.

I rebel therefore I am. I resist therefore I am.

PS: “Writing is a struggle against silence,” said Carlos Fuentes. To write is to rebel against silence.

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3 Comments

  1. Rajalakshmi said,

    I strongly believe in what you say” to reject is to rebel. To rebel to is dream. To rebel is to stay alive” perhaps that is the only way to live at present times…

  2. uglywords said,

    I also stay alive by aligning myself with the hundreds of artists, poets, writers, musicians in history, who too were alienated and who rejected the world around them. They are my ancestors, their works are my inheritance. They un-belonged as much as I do and in being so, we belong to each other.

  3. Rashmi K said,

    I agree to most of what you say. I have, in fact, faced these questions. What I think now, in tune of your line of thought, is that one must live in a way that their life becomes a mark of protest.

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